Pressberg...did you get my message? ... Yeah! An autobiography at 30... Too young you say? I want to capture the Hollywood hurly burly while I’m still sober enough to remember...still fresh enough to go a few rounds with Jerry Bruckheimer...still able to get a table at Spago’s...still worth a handshake at a DiCaprio premiere... No, I don’t care if Burt Reynolds is making a comeback.
Tell Burt he’s on hold. Everyone’s got a book out these days. With royalties... I’ve got three alimony payouts, a copyright infringement from “Sight & Sound” and a lawyer who’s screwing me. [click] Hold on there’s someone on the other line...Hello... Goddamit, I’ll call you back...[click]
We’re talking blockbuster... I’ve already got Dick Donner interested in the movie rights. 10% of gross. Not Wallace Shawn... I bad-mouthed him at Cannes... No. Buscemi is too art movie... Keitel is okay but it would take a Patrick Stewart to really capture my sensitive and misunderstood...Eh?... I don’t care if Helen Hunt won an Oscar, I think we’ve exhausted the sitcom turned serious actor pool... and stick in some minorities for a change, they make me look good... Eh?...Yup! First syndication, then calendars, then the Fox series... For the last time tell Burt to take a hike...Well of course we’re gonna need special effects... WAAAAA!! Urgh? No. That new intern was shining one of those laser beam things on my head. What? You’ll call me back? No wait. This is going to be my year...I can feel it...