you get my message? ... Yeah! An autobiography at 30... Too young
you say? I want to capture the Hollywood hurly burly while Im
still sober enough to remember...still fresh enough to go a few
rounds with Jerry Bruckheimer...still able to get a table at Spagos...still
worth a handshake at a DiCaprio premiere... No, I dont care
if Burt Reynolds is making a comeback.
Burt hes on hold. Everyones got a book out these days.
With royalties... Ive got three alimony payouts, a copyright
infringement from Sight & Sound and a lawyer whos
screwing me. [click] Hold on theres someone on the other line...Hello...
Goddamit, Ill call you back...[click]
talking blockbuster... Ive already got Dick Donner interested
in the movie rights. 10% of gross. Not Wallace Shawn... I bad-mouthed
him at Cannes... No. Buscemi is too art movie... Keitel is okay
but it would take a Patrick Stewart to really capture my sensitive
and misunderstood...Eh?... I dont care if Helen Hunt won an
Oscar, I think weve exhausted the sitcom turned serious actor
pool... and stick in some minorities for a change, they make me
look good... Eh?...Yup! First syndication, then calendars, then
the Fox series... For the last time tell Burt to take a hike...Well
of course were gonna need special effects... WAAAAA!! Urgh?
No. That new intern was shining one of those laser beam things on
my head. What? Youll call me back? No wait. This is going
to be my year...I can feel it...